What ever will I believe now?!?

I love horoscopes, so much so that I have mine (Libra) and my kids (Cancer) tattooed on my foot among cute swirly lines.  I love reading my daily horoscope in the paper and comparing every aspect of my life to the description of a Libra.  Most times it all rings true...somehow.

I also love BabyCenter.  I frequent the site often, searching for answers to all of my parenting questions.  I excitedly open my weekly emails from them to read up on all of the newest developments in my kids', well, development.  The information I get from BabyCenter never fails to answer all my questions and put any worries I have to rest.

Two things I love.  Two things I like to trust more than coffee and Desperate Housewives.

Let's tie all this together and learn why I'm slightly unimpressed with my latest finding.

I visited BabyCenter recently to look up something about Brynlee's eating or development or something.  On the homepage I found this:

Click to go do it yourself!

Cue the angels and soft lighting: Aaaahhh!!!  I was in heaven.  Of course, I had to do it.  I compared Cory and I to get our "parenting" horoscopes first.  This is what I got: Libra and Scorpio: Good Cop, Bad Cop.  We should avoid taking on extreme roles because our nature will inevitably pull up in those directions and our kids will quickly discover that they can play one parent against the other. 

Let's read on: Libra (me) is the parent that is "gentle and kind, with an aversion to conflict and controversy. You're the parent who says 'yes' unless you have a good reason to say 'no.' Consistent discipline could be a problem too, because you never want to be 'mean.'"  And Scorpio (Cory) "has no problem saying 'no' and may be stuck with the lion's share of the correction when rules are broken."

I stared at the screen while the crickets chirped.

This won't make sense to those who don't know us, but I'm sure those that do laughed a little when they read that.  I was sure I picked the wrong horoscopes.  Or BabyCenter has made a bad mixup mistake with someone else's results.  This was not describing my husband and I.  Unless the time that we went to Hy-Vee and Cade saw a flashlight that he wanted but could only get if he used his manners, which he quickly and severely failed at, so he got his flashlight taken away by Mom, then proceeded to throw a fit up and down every aisle and even showed a rare violent side towards his dad, but Dad decided that Son's fit was breaking his heart enough that he needed to give the flashlight back, stopping all tears instantly, was just a dream.  Because I'm sure it wasn't.  The security camera footage is probably still a go-to for entertainment for Hy-Vee employees during down time. 

It was awful.  I was beyond pissed at Cade's behavior and Cory's reaction and wanted to throw the stupid flashlight out the window of the truck on the way home.

Surely, this horoscope result was just a mistake and I decided to move on to comparing the rest of us.

First off, it kept describing me as a gregarious social butterfly, which maybe 10% of me is.  And my kids (Cancer), are shy?!?  Homebodies?!?  Dependant?!?  HA!  My son thrives on entertaining any guest, stranger or family member that walks through our door and has no problem disappearing into a crowd at our local arcade and bowling alley, against all warnings from his parents.  And my daughter?  Well, she's only 8 months old but I can already picture her on a stage singing her little heart out.

I just had to laugh when it suggested getting your Cancer child a pet or plant to care for.  It said they would "know what to do almost instinctively."  Really?  So the lima bean plant in a plastic Solo cup that Cade brought home in his backpack, spilling dirt everywhere and almost snapping the stem in two was good for the health of the plant?  Huh, no wonder my bushes aren't growing.  I'll be sure to stomp on them this spring.

It did hit the nail on the head when it described Cancer kids as sensitive.  Holy cow are they ever!  Cade carries on as if a limb is being amputated when I'm cleaning a small scrape and Brynlee, well, she already pulls at our heart strings with her (sad) cries. 

Also, Cade does love his stuffed giraffe that he's had since about a year old, which the "Cancer child profile" predicted.  He's had a hard time with our current weaning system where Giraffe has to stay in his bed instead of being dragged around everywhere he goes.  We did this mostly for thumb sucking reasons, but that's a whole other story!

I'll probably be looking up some information on this thumb sucking habit and how to break it (although, I'm not loving the fact that Brynlee is a pacifier baby considering I still have to make regular trips into her bedroom at least once during every sleeping time to pop it back into her mouth.  Cade was a much better sleeper, thumb conveniently attached to mouth.) 

I'm hoping BabyCenter doesn't fall short with advice in that category, because these horribly false horoscope results have almost ruined everything I've ever known to be true about life! 

Without reliable horoscopes and solid BabyCenter stories, where am I to turn?!?

Watch out, Octomom!

I think I need to see a doctor.  I need a prescription for a condition that has recently taken over my mind, but it seems the only prescription that seems would be effective is a baby.  That’s right, I’m suffering from Baby Fever.  I’m enjoying every minute with the baby I have now and I obviously love my preschooler, but I’ve just always felt that I wasn’t done having babies.  I’ve always wanted more than two.  And this is where it’s starting to get complicated: Do I only want three?  What about FOUR?  It’s complicated because my husband “thinks” he’s done with two.  I mean, he says pretty confidently that he is, but I know he doesn’t feel as strongly about it as he conveys.  Haha.

Here’s the thing.  He is so adamant about not having anymore kids because I’m so convinced that we are.  We’re both pretty stubborn people so the middle ground is hard for us to meet sometimes.  But you can’t meet in the middle when it comes to having another baby.  You do or you don’t.  He’s secretly is 50-50, but has to be stubborn about it.  You see, I’ve been talking about it forever and he’s been rejecting it, only sooooome of the time.  It usually goes something like this:

Me: “Would you want to find out the sex of the next baby or be surprised?”

Cory: “Definitely be surprised.”

Another random day…

Me: “We need to put some of this baby stuff in storage.”

Cory: “Why not sell it?  I don’t know what baby you think is going to be using it.”

Yes you do J

I confronted him about it, just bringing up the fact that I think he argues so strongly for the “nay” side because he can’t say “yay” unless it’s on his terms.  And it can’t be on his terms when I’ve already set the terms and I’m not budging.  I’ve always told him he just argues for the sake of arguing, and he’ll be the first to agree with that.  But he says he fears the hectics a third child can add to the mix, but really have you met our first child?  He's three children in one right now so really, what's another?  Also, the cost!  Kids are expensive.  I get this, but really are you ever financially ready for the first baby?  The second?  No.  You can never be financially ready for a baby unless you’re a TV star making $3 million an episode, but then you’re Charlie Sheen and you have a whole other set of problems to worry about!  (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, take a look at this!)

I say, let's deal with the chaos now to reap the benefits later.  I want more than two kids and I want them to have more than one sibling.

We’ll be “ready” for Baby #3 when it’s time for Baby #3 to come.  That’s definitely not now which is why I’m not planning it to happen now and Cory says that he doesn’t want another baby now.  Like most guys, he’s more think-in-the-moment (and in the moment he’s completely stressed out with the kids we have already haha) whereas I’m thinking a couple years down the road.  And in a couple years down the road, I will be pregnant with Baby #3. J Then a couple years after that, if Baby #4 comes along then wonderful!  Watch out, Octomom!

Now, I need to go visit the maternity ward at our hospital so I can cuddle some newborns.  Hopefully they won’t call security.

Cade's Screen Time Makeover

I’m always looking for ways to satisfy my urge to organize.  My son is the focus of my latest mission.  I posted a few days ago about my quest for a new rewards chart and system for limiting my son’s TV and video game time.  Well, I found it.  I created the ultimate system for doing just that.  At least I think so and my son’s pretty pumped too.

I searched websites (especially this one) for different ideas and tips.  I had a very complex idea, too complex for a preschooler, and simplified it so that he can easily learn and use our new system.  Cade loves numbers and is learning more and more math skills so I incorporated that into tracking his screen time.  We bought him his own timer and made him somewhat responsible for setting his own limits.  I have faith in this approach because for one, kids love feeling in charge and responsible for their own well-being and two, it will help teach him self-control, time management and responsibility.  Inadvertently, he’s also learning some reading and math skills too!  He thinks it’s awesome.

Here’s a look and our new and improved, super duper rewards system:

Let me explain my madness.  Really, all I changed about the first system was the addition of the first page ("Cade's Activities") and new daily goals (chores) to better fit his age and abilities.  I'm thinking about adding new rewards, but for right now we have quite a few and he still loves all of them.  As you can see, there are 12 columns on the "Activities" page, each titled "10", standing for 10 minutes.  Cade gets 120 minutes of TOTAL screen time in one day.  (Right now, we're not counting the TV that we watch as a family in the evenings because it was the time he was spending glued to cartoons or Wii games, without social interactions, that was becoming an issue.  We watch family friendly shows with him and talk with him throughout those shows so it's somewhat of a conversation starter and learning opportunity.  I know, I know...that time SHOULD be counted too, but little steps people, little steps!)  Okay, moving on...

Cade gets to decide how his 120 minutes of screen time is divided (but he still asks for permission before snatching the remote.)  He's learning how to count by 10's in order to track this (sometimes to make it easier we just count the marks that he makes in each square and then his limit is "12" marks = 120 minutes.)  He's also learning that if one row (TV time or video game time) is full, he can't have any time in the other row.  Haha.  Sometimes that bothers him, but mostly because he's obsessive about "completing" things and doesn't like the empty spaces.  Also he has brief feelings of being cheated out of some of his allotted time when there are empty spaces, but then we just count the marks and I say, "12 is 12!  That's your limit!"  Then I encourage him to look at the listed "great things to do" activities to help fill his time and keep him having tons-o-fun instead of pouting on the couch.  Before, I would just spout out orders and threats, "Go look at the hundreds of books you have!  Play with your millions of cars!  I'll just have to tell Santa that you don't like your toys and that he doesn't have to bring any new ones next year!"  Now, he sees that he's met his limit and it's not me just telling him.  He doesn't hear "NO, you can't watch more cartoons!" when he sees that, "YES, I did get my time!"  And now when he's encouraged to try another activity that's listed on his sheet, I hear, "Okay!"  Voilà!

See, visualizing duties, responsibilities, limits, successes...it just makes it more fun!  And easier! J

A Look Into My Parenting Philosophy

It's been very busy around my house for the past, oh 6 months.  My daughter was born and my son went crazy.  I'm not sure if he's jealous of her, or annoyed that he's not the only child anymore or if his behavior can all be blamed on his age.  And gender!  I'm sure it's a combination of all of that.  The past 6 months was a rough transition for my husband and I so why wouldn't it be for our 4-year-old too?!?  I quit work at the childcare center where I was his preschool teacher and soon after was his last day there.  Then, he started at a new preschool with a new teacher and new friends.  He has to share the spotlight at home and learn how to act around a baby (and a sleeping baby!)  We went from two incomes to one, so we've had some stressful times because of that.  So I know it's been quite a change for him.  He loves his sister and his excess energy has never come out in violent ways, but that doesn't make his rambunctious behavior any less annoying!  And unfortunately (I'm embarrassed to admit this) we've turned to cartoons and video games, particularly Mario Kart Wii, to help us get some down time.  He loves him some screen time!

I really don't want his couch potato habits to escalate anymore, so I've been on the hunt for ideas for some sort of chart to track his screen time and give him a visual for what he's limited to.  Being a preschool teacher in my past life, I always feel the need to make lists and charts and organize things anyway I can!  It's an addiction.  I'm also big on positive reinforcement and positive discipline.  I made a "responsibility" chart for Cade about a year ago and we tracked his daily goals with some sort of stamps each day.  He had a set number of stamps to earn before he got a special reward.  He loved it and it worked wonders!  I always encourage parents with preschool or school aged children to use visuals to help get your point across or to help "train" your children to do whatever you want them to do. J  

Here's what that chart system looked like:

Everything is laminated and we used dry erase markers to make the "stamps" and write the stamp goal.  All the different rewards have a piece of Velcro on the back to attach to the Velcro dot on the "goal" sheet.  Cade loved this, but has since outgrown those goals.  He's getting old enough to have actual chores and special duties around the house so I wanted a new chart to have those.  Also, I wanted to incorporate his activities and limits on screen time somehow too.  This is where it's getting complicated.  I'm continuing my search online for ideas so I can simplify my version.  I found great ideas on this website and I'm wondering where it has been my whole life!  I love it!  It's given me wonderful inspiration and hopefully I'll have an update soon for what I come up with for a new responsibility chart that works for us.

I love this kind of stuff and I'm always trying to learn new ways to teach kids and feed my hunger for organization!  I welcome any of your ideas!  Also, I'm willing to give tips for what I've done in the past or if you'd like a downloadable form for the chart I used, I'd be willing to share that too. 

Just A Saturday Night....

3:40      Husband calls.  On his way home from a long day of overtime work on a Saturday.  Declares that we should go out to eat.  Wife stresses over the thought of mixing a restaurant with a baby who hasn’t napped.  Must get baby to nap now.

3:55      Baby goes down for nap.  Hooray!  Wife picks up the computer to search for hold-my-baby’s-socks-on devices and knows she’s wasting time.

4:05      Husband gets home, scolds wife for wasting time on the computer, flops down on the couch.  Hypocrite.  Preschooler goes through regular routine of welcoming Dad home: screaming, jumping on the couches, running from living room to front door to kitchen to living room.  Repeat.  Do we really want to go out?  Maybe we should order take out.  Wouldn’t it be nice to get out of the house?  Is it a bigger hassle to get all ready?

4:30      Wife still on the computer.  Baby still sleeping.  Husband still slouched on couch.  Preschooler still spastic, wearing only underwear from naptime.

4:45      Baby’s awake.  GET OFF COMPUTER!  Prepare dinner for Baby, change out of sweats into real clothes, put pants on Preschooler.  Ahh!  Have to pump!  Check diaper bag.  Dog needs let out.  Don’t forget to warm an bottle for the restaurant!  Go warm the truck!

5:25      Leave the house!  Head to the restaurant.  Participate in “how was your day?” small talk.

5:40      Restaurant is PACKED.  Husband can’t believe it’s already this “late.”  Circle the parking lot, back on the road.  Where to now?  This one?  PACKED.  That one?  PACKED.  Annoyed.  Discussion of options ensues.  Preschooler hears the conversation and chimes in, “MCDONALDS!”  Repeats request incessantly, louder, louder, LOUDER.  Baby, who has recently found her voice, joins in.  LOUD NOISES!!

5:55      Husband and Wife continue brainstorming.  Truck passes McDonalds.  Volcanic meltdown!  Wife holds head in hands.  Husband loses patience.  MORE LOUD NOISES!

6:00      Truck stops at train track.  Meltdown continues.  Wife realizes Baby’s bedtime is in an hour.  Anxiety.

6:10      Settle on a restaurant without a wait.  Pizza.  Exciting!  Why didn’t we order in?

8:00      Wife opens bottle of wine.  Flops down on couch, comfy in sweat pants.

Who says a mother sacrifices wild weekend nights?  My Saturday nights are still crazy. 

It's Just Like Riding A Bike

I've definitely had a blogging rut lately.  I don't really know what to write about.  My life has been far from boring or lacking things to do, but who wants to hear all about what I do during the day?? J

One thing I did think that some people would find interesting is what happened last night.  I nursed my daughter.  Yep, after 4 months of exclusively pumping, I nursed her back to sleep.  Crazy?  That's what I thought!

It all started when she woke up at 10:30, which is about 3-4 hours before she usually does.  She wanted to eat, so I gave her the only bottle that I had upstairs.  The one that I had pumped an hour earlier.  The one that's supposed to be used for the 2:00 AM feeding.  She gobbled it up (ALL of it of course!) and she fell back asleep like normal, but I knew it wouldn't last until her normal wake-up time of 7:00 AM.  I was right.  She still woke up at 3:00.  I tried her pacifier.  She screamed louder!  And shook out of anger.  That obviously was not what she wanted.  Haha.  Too bad I didn't have a couple ounces left from that first bottle!

I didn't want to pump.  I stopped middle of the night pumping several weeks ago to get more sleep.  I didn't have time to pump a bottle anyway.  She was pissed!  How dare I try to give her that stupid piece of silicone.  I didn't want to go downstairs and get a bottle out of the fridge.  It would have taken too much time to warm it up anyway.  So, guineas idea, let's try nursing!

I think I was in one of my stubborn streaks when I came up with that idea.  I mean, how dare she not follow her schedule and want to eat more than once during the night.  It was her fault she didn't have a bottle upstairs anyway! J I just wanted to get back to sleeeeeeep!  Aparently, so did she because she did something I didn't really expect her to do.  She latched on and nursed away!  It was just like riding a bike!  It didn't last long, but it didn't have to.  She was comforted and fast asleep within 10 minutes.  I put her back in her crib, feeling very accomplished and baffled at the same time!  Maybe I should try this more often!  I have in the past, but she hasn't been a fan.  Who could blame her though?