Thursday, March 17, 2011

What ever will I believe now?!?

I love horoscopes, so much so that I have mine (Libra) and my kids (Cancer) tattooed on my foot among cute swirly lines.  I love reading my daily horoscope in the paper and comparing every aspect of my life to the description of a Libra.  Most times it all rings true...somehow.

I also love BabyCenter.  I frequent the site often, searching for answers to all of my parenting questions.  I excitedly open my weekly emails from them to read up on all of the newest developments in my kids', well, development.  The information I get from BabyCenter never fails to answer all my questions and put any worries I have to rest.

Two things I love.  Two things I like to trust more than coffee and Desperate Housewives.

Let's tie all this together and learn why I'm slightly unimpressed with my latest finding.

I visited BabyCenter recently to look up something about Brynlee's eating or development or something.  On the homepage I found this:

Click to go do it yourself!
Cue the angels and soft lighting: Aaaahhh!!!  I was in heaven.  Of course, I had to do it.  I compared Cory and I to get our "parenting" horoscopes first.  This is what I got: Libra and Scorpio: Good Cop, Bad Cop.  We should avoid taking on extreme roles because our nature will inevitably pull up in those directions and our kids will quickly discover that they can play one parent against the other. 

Let's read on: Libra (me) is the parent that is "gentle and kind, with an aversion to conflict and controversy. You're the parent who says 'yes' unless you have a good reason to say 'no.' Consistent discipline could be a problem too, because you never want to be 'mean.'"  And Scorpio (Cory) "has no problem saying 'no' and may be stuck with the lion's share of the correction when rules are broken."

I stared at the screen while the crickets chirped.

This won't make sense to those who don't know us, but I'm sure those that do laughed a little when they read that.  I was sure I picked the wrong horoscopes.  Or BabyCenter has made a bad mixup mistake with someone else's results.  This was not describing my husband and I.  Unless the time that we went to Hy-Vee and Cade saw a flashlight that he wanted but could only get if he used his manners, which he quickly and severely failed at, so he got his flashlight taken away by Mom, then proceeded to throw a fit up and down every aisle and even showed a rare violent side towards his dad, but Dad decided that Son's fit was breaking his heart enough that he needed to give the flashlight back, stopping all tears instantly, was just a dream.  Because I'm sure it wasn't.  The security camera footage is probably still a go-to for entertainment for Hy-Vee employees during down time. 

It was awful.  I was beyond pissed at Cade's behavior and Cory's reaction and wanted to throw the stupid flashlight out the window of the truck on the way home.

Surely, this horoscope result was just a mistake and I decided to move on to comparing the rest of us.

First off, it kept describing me as a gregarious social butterfly, which maybe 10% of me is.  And my kids (Cancer), are shy?!?  Homebodies?!?  Dependant?!?  HA!  My son thrives on entertaining any guest, stranger or family member that walks through our door and has no problem disappearing into a crowd at our local arcade and bowling alley, against all warnings from his parents.  And my daughter?  Well, she's only 8 months old but I can already picture her on a stage singing her little heart out.

I just had to laugh when it suggested getting your Cancer child a pet or plant to care for.  It said they would "know what to do almost instinctively."  Really?  So the lima bean plant in a plastic Solo cup that Cade brought home in his backpack, spilling dirt everywhere and almost snapping the stem in two was good for the health of the plant?  Huh, no wonder my bushes aren't growing.  I'll be sure to stomp on them this spring.

It did hit the nail on the head when it described Cancer kids as sensitive.  Holy cow are they ever!  Cade carries on as if a limb is being amputated when I'm cleaning a small scrape and Brynlee, well, she already pulls at our heart strings with her (sad) cries. 

Also, Cade does love his stuffed giraffe that he's had since about a year old, which the "Cancer child profile" predicted.  He's had a hard time with our current weaning system where Giraffe has to stay in his bed instead of being dragged around everywhere he goes.  We did this mostly for thumb sucking reasons, but that's a whole other story!

I'll probably be looking up some information on this thumb sucking habit and how to break it (although, I'm not loving the fact that Brynlee is a pacifier baby considering I still have to make regular trips into her bedroom at least once during every sleeping time to pop it back into her mouth.  Cade was a much better sleeper, thumb conveniently attached to mouth.) 

I'm hoping BabyCenter doesn't fall short with advice in that category, because these horribly false horoscope results have almost ruined everything I've ever known to be true about life! 

Without reliable horoscopes and solid BabyCenter stories, where am I to turn?!?


Amy said...

Want to know something even crazier? I read a little while ago that they changed the dates of the zodiac signs. So I have always thought I was a Pisces but now am apparently an Aquarius!

Emily @ Baby Dickey said...

Hahaha, awesome post. I can totally picture the grocery store incident (and the resulting fight lol). I'm going over to babycenter right now to do this too!! If mine is half as entertaining (And incorrect) as yours, I'll probably blog about it ;)

Jen said...

I went and compared my family too after I read this post! It was a complete failure for me as well.
Bryan is the tough guy that means business---- HAHAHAHAHAHA! RIGHT!!
I'm a Scorpio and usually my horoscopes are right on the money, but not in this case. Though I do hide my emotions usually, I definitely don't hide them from my kids. I am smothering :) Bryan is a "perfectionist with very high standards toward his spouse and children"... Not quite! The kids' results were a little more accurate--- Katelyn- center of attention; needs constant praise. Both are very stubborn when challenged, Right on the Money. :)
Fun Post Bre!!

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